Robin Bertram Ministries Blog
Manipulator or Negotiator
September 6, 2011
Are you a manipulator or negotiator?
Manipulate means to manage or influence skillfully, especially in an unfair manner; to manipulate others feelings to ones own advantage.
Negotiate means to deal or bargain with another or others, as in the preparation of a treaty or contract, or in preliminaries to a business deal, transfer, or bring about an agreement by discussion.
How do you get what you want?
A while back I was part of a negotiation between several professions, media representatives and leaders. I was more or less, the go between. My role was to simply present the conditions set up by another group that I was representing. We had had numerous meetings regarding this new potential work. All was well. Our talks were very successful. Everything was on- so to speak and we were simply waiting for the finishing touches, ie the media release.
Out of the blue, I was sucker punched. The last and final meeting, in my mind, was to plan for the launch of this particular work. One of the other leaders involved began to list numerous things that would imply that I had not done my due diligence, in a rather rude and unprofessional manner. I felt as though the meeting had been manipulated for some underlying motive, but what and why -this was the unknown.
Shocked and amazed, I could not respond. I simply sat in disbelief that a person of such position would respond in this way.
After the meeting, I gathered my thoughts and sent an email back to those involved, with a short and abrupt message- explaining clearly how I felt he had handled the meeting-totally unprofessional. Yes, I acted out of my flesh. I am not happy to report.
After the meeting, I began to cry. (my reaction to overload) I prayed, but God, I was doing this to help them. How did this turn around so quickly? Now I look like I was unprepared and unprofessional and I do my work to the best of my ability. I try to treat people respectfully. Please help me. Show me what to do.
Later that week I sent an apology letter, after trying unsuccessfully to reach him by telephone. I originally felt justified in calling him on his behavior, but God required that I humble myself, ask for forgiveness and try to make a mends. I did.
Our next meeting was a real eye opener. I was told there was no hard feelings, no bitterness or resentment. He continued on and explained why the deal was not going to go through. It was in his own explanation that God showed Himself mightily. Hallelujah! My Father exposed the true motives of the heart as this individual confessed his future plans and motives.
God is a big God. He will always stand on the side of a negotiator, and never on the side of a manipulator. Why? Because, He is a just God. It is His character. He is a just God! Now which are you? a manipulator or a negotiator?
Dear precious Father,
I am ready, willing, and able to be a negotiator and not a manipulator. I want to stand on the side of righteousness, even if it is against my own will. I choose to handle business agreements, relationships, and peers in a just manner, because You are a just God. I choose to handle disagreements in an open discussion, instead of handling it in a manipulative way. Help me Lord to honor you in all of my dealings. May You be glorified in all I do. In Jesus Name I pray, amen.
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